OCD Rituals, “Flowering Tobacco” and breaking my own rule.
I have a rule. I’m not very disciplined. Foods that begin with “CH” are fattening temptations that I consume every day. (Think “Cheese” and “Chocolate”). I don’t go to the gym on my own. I’m only admitting these embarrassing weaknesses so you can be impressed at the one area in which I have extreme self-discipline: When I get a gift, I don’t let myself use it until I write the letter.
Generally, I have a few rituals to remind myself “Write or wait.”
(a) I keep it on my desk or gathered in a place near my typewriter — always in sight — so I am forced to look at the living, breathing “to do” item until I start the letter. It can be cream-colored La Perla lingerie. A bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon from Napa. A Whoopee cushion. See Bridge Mix. It doesn’t matter how large or embarrassing, delicious or sensuous the item is — I won’t touch it, wear it, drink it, gobble it until I respond.
(b) I don’t put it into a drawer where I might forget I have a job to do.
(c) I don’t touch it or use it, no matter how tempting. I create a false sense of urgency & incentive. I need that, as an ADHD type person. A deadline is good.
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Tonight, however, I broke all my rules. I lit the candle from Owen, Elizabeth and daughter Ashley before I whipped out a TY note. “Flowering Tobacco” piqued my curiosity. What would that smell like? Before I could control it, my hand was rummaging around the drawer for a match, the candle was fired up, and I had broken my own sacrosanct rule. The good news is — now I can enjoy. And it smells wonderful…I wish I could let you sniff it somehow.
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