A condolence in a briefcase.

When someone dies, it’s hard to find the words.  How can you capture what that person contributed to the world in a few sentences?

After my sister Kitty passed,  cards and notes I got from friends – even as far back as high school — helped capture snippets

of who she was, especially when fragments & moments from favorite stories of how they remembered her.

I don’t like writing condolence cards.  I don’t like death.  But I want to remember how helpful those letters were, and so I console.

My friend Ian’s mother passed away recently and although I’d only met her once — on Rodeo Drive at a Car Show, in a flurry of

people and French poodles and gleaming vintage cars —  I remembered how elegant she was, how devoted her son was to her, and reminded

Ian of how much his loving care had added to her life.  We talked yesterday for the first time since the funeral, almost a month later.  He told me

twice how he carries my note in his briefcase and it meant a lot to him.  I’m sad for his loss but it’s a reminder that a few moments of thinking

about him and his relationship to his beloved mother should be written… and shared… because they may provide comfort on a difficult day.

And isn’t that what “sympathy” is all about?